A NASTY ASS "COOKIE"

The Protein Marketing has to come to an end.

If you are a person with eyes and a social media account, you’ve probably noticed the rising trend of “health” influencers talking about “healthy” food that is jammed full of protein thanks to an excessive amount of substitutions in each recipe. It’s sick, nasty, and probably excessively contributing to disordered eating.

The trend is getting so bad that it’s now inescapable. Nearly everything in the grocery store has some sort of protein call out directly on the front of the product. But I just have to wonder why.

Why do we need Cinnamon Toast Crunch that’s 11g of protein per serving? Why do we need to be protein max-ing? I was buying ICE-CREAM the other day and there was literally a label on the front of the pint “the Only high protein ice-cream.” Most ice-cream has around 7g of protein in it. It’s made from milk? That’s kinda milk’s whole thing.

This is EXACTLY why I am declaring that nasty high protein branded items are OUT this summer. If you’ve never want to eat chalky cereal, and pizza, and whatever the fuck else, that’s your choice. Don’t force that shit on me.

NOTE: This judgement does not include protein powder, protein shakes, and/or protein bars.

Shitty Business Ideas:

Sharts,

I’m offering you another great idea that will really cement you as part of the 1%. In exchange, I will require a charge card that allows me to get free coffee from wherever i want for at least 4 more years, or until fascism is on the decline again, whichever is first.

Today I am presenting the incredible concept of a crust-eraunt. This unique restaurant would be perfect for the people who love the crust on their sandwiches, and those who eat the pizza crust without second thoughts. Everything in this restaurant will be created with crust.

This new, waste free, restaurant concept, will take the nation by storm as we learn to reduce waste, and reuse the crust that SOME PEOPLE find unworthy.