8 DAYS AGO • 1 MIN READ

I Finally Figured Out Why Everything Suddenly Has Protein In It

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Seriously Unserious

Seriously Unserious is a weekly newsletter exploring the goofy ideas that live inside my head, bad business ideas, and a few videos for those who don't love reading that much. Delivered direct to your inbox every Sunday, this newsletter is designed to help you connect with your inner unserious before you clock into your work week.

Hey friends,

It's no secret that I've spoken at length about protein-maxxing on this newsletter.

I think my first post about it was around 9 months ago when I talked about how a lot of people have been posting about their ​Rottweiler eating habits (insert link here)​. Then I wrote about it again at the end of last year when Starbucks released their new protein coffees.

So you are probably wondering why I am revisiting the matter.

Well, I don't want to call this breaking news, because I have no real evidence. I do, however, have a strong theory based on patterns of behavior.

Sometimes that's all you need.

Here's what I am thinking is REALLY going on... (now that I'm familiar with the behavior of Dairy Management Inc.)

Over the last 5-ish weeks (and many, many years), we have seen that Big Dairy has falsified nutritional information to back up dairy sales.

They've colluded with the King and Queen of Cheese at Pizza Hut to increase the amount of dairy we consume on our pizza orders.

They've worked with fast food companies like Taco Bell, Culver’s, and Chili's to increase the amount of dairy on every new item that hits the menu.

They've even gone so far as to work with the education system to make sure children are eating more dairy than ever in school lunches by serving yogurt, pizza, etc.

All of this to say, it should come as no shock when we consider that Dairy Management Inc could be behind the rise of high-protein snack foods like the newly protein-boosted Pop-Tart, protein-boosted popcorn, and, most recently, protein-boosted Doritos.

After 5 weeks of milk related reading it hit me. What protein are they using in all of this protein-packed junk food?

Whey protein.

I'm sorry, but there's just no (whey) that this is a coincidence.

There's so much evidence that Dairy Management Inc. has gone above and beyond to bolster the sales of dairy products over the last 50 years.

Why wouldn't brands like Pop-Tarts and Doritos utilize discounted whey protein from Big Dairy to help subsidize the cost of goods and market them to us as somewhat healthier?

What do you think? Is the proteinification of all the junk food we grew up on being pushed by Big Dairy? Or is it just a coincidental relationship to the uptick in GLP-1s and protein-based diet fads?.


Next Week: I'm finally ending this dairy discourse once and for all. I'm unpacking exactly why I think Milk is back, and the propaganda that is ruining our diets to keep Big Dairy happy.

Whey Over It,
Clebbie Debbie

600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2246
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Seriously Unserious

Seriously Unserious is a weekly newsletter exploring the goofy ideas that live inside my head, bad business ideas, and a few videos for those who don't love reading that much. Delivered direct to your inbox every Sunday, this newsletter is designed to help you connect with your inner unserious before you clock into your work week.